Words to Live By

(or at least impress your friends with)

These are a random collection of quotes that I liked for some reason. Some of them I live by, others are just funny. Feel free to correct any attribution or citation errors, this is not meant to be authoritative.

* Life (Spock)
Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

* More life (Gene Roddenberry)
to be different is not necessarily to be ugly; to have a different idea is not necessarily to be wrong. The worst possible thing is for all of us to begin to look and talk and act and think alike.

* Hit it... (Blues Brothers)
It's 106 miles to chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes its dark and were wearing sun glasses.

* Universe (Douglas Adams)
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

* Experts (James Youngman)
If you have expert friends who use FreeBSD, use that. If you have expert friends who use Linux, use that. If you have expert friends who use Windows 95, reevaluate your defintion of expert

* Worldsong (Ani DiFranco)
i speak without reservation from what i know and who i am. i do so with the understanding that all people should have the right to offer their voice to the chorus whether the result is harmony or dissonance, the worldsong is a colorless dirge without the differences that distinguish us, and it is that difference which should be celebrated not condemned. should any part of my music offend you, please do not close your ears to it. just take what you can use and go on.

* Win 95
Windows 95: n.
32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.

* Tripe
These omissions have much to do with the messed-up premise that pervades this film, as well as most of pop culture -- the idea that women are fundamentally sexually different from men, always looking for love, while men always want to get off. What exactly is so threatening about the idea that everyone -- male or female -- sometimes wants all of these things? The dirty secret about women and sex is how much like men we actually are; maybe this is such an upsetting idea to men and women alike that we do everything we can to avoid it, including watching tripe like this.

* Nudity
"A nude beach?" She slowly nodded.

"Edward dragged me to one once many years ago. It was nothing."

"Exactly. For the first ten minutes you're looking at everything. Then it gets boring, until you finally don't care at all. Now think about a regular beach, with all the nice young bodies bouncing around...girls in bikinis. Boys in tight trunks. Lifeguards in their boxer shorts. Now a girl's top slips and you get to see her chest. It's exciting because it's a tease. Because you're not supposed to see it."

* Choose Life (Train Spotting)
"Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers...choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you to replace yourself. Choose a future. Choose a life...But why would I want to do a thing like that?

So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers, all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person, but that's going to change, I'm going to change. This is the last of this sort of thing. I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm going to be just like you; the job, the family, the fucking big television, the washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electrical tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortage, starter home, leisurewear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nineto-five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing the gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die.

* Possiblities (Jim Kirk)
There are always possiblities

* Morning (Richard Stallman)
It was actually a very beautiful thing to see a sunrise, cause' that's such a calm time of day. It's a wonderful time of day to get ready to go to bed. It's so nice to walk home with the light just brightening and the birds starting to chirp, you can get a real feeling of gentle satisfaction, of tranquility about the work that you have done that night.

* Conspiracies
Ever wonder why the SAME PEOPLE make up ALL the conspiracy theories?

* Coding (Steve Williams)
The woods are lovely, dark and deep. But I have promises to keep, And lines to code before I sleep, And lines to code before I sleep.

* Love (Martin Cruz Smith Red Square)
What is the think we crave most in life? The sense that someone somewhere remembers and loves us. Even better if we love them in turn. Anything can be endured if that idea holds fast.

* Lottery:
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

* You (Alanis Morissette)
...until you died. But you're still alive!

* America
America: A nation started by religious groups in search of the freedom to be far more totalitarian and restrictive than was currently possible in Europe.

* Age (Barenaked Ladies)
Old at being young, young at being old

* Microsloth (Unknown)
Friends don't let friends use DOS

* More MS (Dave Barry)
Technically, Windows is an operating system, which means that it supplies your computer with the basic commands that it needs to suddenly, with no warning whatsoever, stop operating.

* Money (Rober Palmer)
She's so fine, there's no telling where the money went

* Change (Johny Clasue)
We used to talk about changing the world, and all you want to do now is change your name.

* Time, (ST-TNG Inner Light)
Live now; make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again.

* To Lead (INXS The Stairs)
Do you lead or are you led, are you sure that you don't care?

* Attitude's on Life (Dead Poet's Society, Young MC, Nike)

* Safety (Mary Shafer, NASA Ames Dryden)
Insisting on perfect safety is for people who don't have the balls to live in the real world.

* Jim on Normalicy
Normalicy is for the masses. And given the current state of the world, I don't want to be a part of the masses.

* Attitude Collarary (Risky Business)
Sometimes you just have to say: "What the Fuck"

* Ferris Bueller on life (Ferris Bueller's Day Off)
Life moves pretty quickly, if you don't stop every once in a while, and look around, you might miss it.

* Needs of the many (Spock STII TWOK)
The needs of the many outway the needs of the few, or the one.

* Above all else (Douglas Adams "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy")

* Spock's Wisdom
Consume mass quantities of fecal matter and cease to exist.

* Fluffy City (Pansy Division)

* (Dennis Miller)
Can I apply fricion to your special parts.

* Doogie Howser on Safe Sex
When you have sex with someone its like having sex with everyone that they have had sex with. And everyone that those people have had sex with, and so on, until your having sex with 400 different people. About the size of a small town in Indiana. Do you really want to have sex with a small town in Indiana?

* Conventional Ladder (Pat Booth - "Palm Beach")
Lisa's voice faltered. Life wasn't quite like that and she knew it. Once you got off the conventional ladder, somebody else moved in to take you place. There would be new A students, teacher's pets with no suspicious gaps in their curricula vitae. And when Lisa tried to get her foot back on the lower rungs, their shoe leather or worse would be in her face. It was the way the system exacted obediance from the slaves who serviced it. Move out and the door slams in your face. Stay put and the addictive drug of security is dripped in increasing quantities into your veins, each additional fix carefully metered and spread tantalizingly through time. The more you got the more you wanted - the higher the ladder the steeper the jump to get off. It was a trap into which Mr. and Mrs. Average were all too pleased to fall, willing junkies to the habit of conformity.

* Windshields (Dire Straits)
Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.

* Friends (Dirty Dawg)
I swear to God, if I heard the "Let's Just Be Friends," speech one more time, I was going to kill something.

* Eclipses (U2)
the Sun is sometimes eclipsed by a moon.

* Ambition (Anonymous)
Ambitious people should be shot!

* Control
Ask not for whom the {CONTROL-G} tolls.

* Think Different (Nietzsche)
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.

* Science and Religion (Einstein)
Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.

* Relativity (Einstein)
When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, you think it's only a minute. But when you sit on a hot stove for a minute, you think it's two hours. That's relativity.

.....Written by Jim Mintha. Mail comments to jim@ic.uva.nl